Meetings: none of is is as dumb as all of us

Heading into hour three of the most boring, useless meeting ever. I hate going to meetings with no purpose. I've given up trying to follow along, so I'm providing you, my dear readers, with a list of activities I'd rather be doing.

(1.) have a public pelvic exam in Times Square 

(2.) watch a 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' marathon

(3.) watch Star Wars

(4.) scrub toilets

(5.) hug a cactus

(6.) hold a screaming baby

(7.) have lunch with a scary clown

(8.) wear socks with sandals (actually, I might not be able to follow thru with this)

(9.) eat an egg (not sure I could do this without vomiting...but it would still be better than this meeting.)

(10.) go a week without deodorant 

(11.) share a bed with a spider

(12.) break up a kangaroo fight

I think it's almost over..shit, maybe not

(13.) go without coffee for a week

(14.) listen to Kanye in all his Yeezus glory on repeat, with REM in the background

It's FINALLY over.

Post meeting additions

(15.) Eat olives
(16.) Sweat to the Oldies with Richard Simmons