My mind is currently all over the place right now. Seriously, I feel like it's getting pulled in 45 different directions...none of them bad places to be, but it's hard to be in 45 different places at once, you know? I know life is complicated and messy and it certainly doesn't fit neatly into an organized to-do list...but I can do better than this.
Obviously, I don't update this blog much, but the last time I did back in January, I talked about how I wanted this to be a low-key, mostly goal-free year. No real resolutions or ambitious goals (unless you consider waking up every day be an ambitious goal.) It's been nice not stressing about achieving lofty goals and over-analyzing all the ways in which I'd be falling short.
However, I've found that I've become quite lazy...like, lazy beyond lazy and that's not a good place to be either. I don't want to spend my downtime working out, reading, socializing or cleaning or working on professional development. Nope, all of those things require ambition and energy, two things that are in short supply right now.
On top of being lazy, I've found that I'm also quite scattered (hence, why I have 45 different things going on in my head at any given time.) I've even been slacking on my to-do lists lately (I know, right?) At any given moment it feels like I'm doing the bare minimum to keep my head above water and instead of allowing me to relax and un-clench, it's actually causing me quite a bit of stress.
I've decided the madness stops today. The events that led me to this declaration, in order: a five minute hunt for clean yoga pants in the 4 foot tall pile of CLEAN clothes stacked against my dresser for the past week, realizing that I'm low on k-cups after I stumbled upstairs for morning coffee and last, but certainly not least, the fact that I just had to transfer $500 out of my savings account to pay bills - bills that were due today no less. I know I'll replace the $500 (and more) when I get paid this week...but still, it was painful to transfer that much and it could have been avoided if I had just planned a bit better.
It's time to stop being so ambivalent and lazy and start planning ahead a bit. I need to establish some out very loose goals. I don't need to aim for perfection, but I do want some direction (look at me, rhyming and everything...maybe I can be the next Vanilla Ice?) in my life. I may get around to posting some of the goals eventually, but honestly, they aren't that interesting and there's just the whole 'perhaps some things are better left off the interwebs' thing (perhaps this blog shouldn't exist?)
It feels better to get all this out (even if it is just for my own personal sanity.) I was also able to cross four items off my to-do list while I was writing this blog post. Seriously, I forgot how good it could feel to check stuff off. I was also able to rearrange a few things today and I think the new order of things will make for a much less stressful, much more enjoyable day. To that end, I suppose it's time to sign off so I can get ready and meet a friend for lunch (I was actually awake at 8:00 this morning, which gave me plenty of time to lounge and relax, while still being able to leave the house by 11:00 AM. It's a spring miracle!)
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