I really, really need to stop over-scheduling myself. Or maybe I need to stop coming up with grand, over-the-top ideas that take hours upon hours (and $$$) to execute (I'm lookin' at you book trees!) Everything I've 'over scheduled' is all supposed to be fun stuff. I suppose it's the neurotic side of me coming out, but it's hard to have fun when all I can think about is how disorganized my closet currently is (yes, typing that out made it feel even more ridiculous than just thinking it.) I guess it will all just have to wait until December.
I'm guessing if I really looked at my schedule, I could find lots of extra time (It's amazing how a I can get sucked into playing Candy Crush on my old phone, new phone and kindle fire...or looking at one of my online forums or blogs I follow) However, I think the 'bigger picture' thing going on right now is that I spent months looking forward to my three day weekend and not only has it flown by, but what was supposed to be a happy time of relaxing and catching up with friends (at least I'll accomplish the 'friends' part tonight) has actually been kind of sad (this part has nothing to do with a messy closet) ...yet frantic with all the things I'm trying to accomplish.
I can't believe I'm going to publish this post of me whining about my first-world, self-induced problems, but it's just something I needed to get out. Maybe I can read this post next year and learn to take it easy and maybe not be such a perfectionist about things. Life will be okay if my bed looks a little shabby today or if my closet remains in a semi-organized state of chaos for another couple of weeks. I can still be happy, even if I'm not getting what I want right now (I know there has to be a bigger reason for it that's not obvious to me right now.)
I had no idea I was a perfectionist until a few years ago (because I've always associated being a perfectionist with having straight As and lots of money in savings, the perfect body and a perfectly clean house filled with 2.3 kids, etc.) until someone pointed it out to me. But the truth is, I think I'm way too hard on myself sometimes for not living up to my own expectations of how something should be. The funny part is I don't put these expectations on others, just myself. I would never judge someone else the way I judge myself.
On a happier note, despite the royal pain-in-the-ass they've become, the book trees are actually turning out to be pretty awesome - I know it will perk up the library a bit and that will make it all totally worth it in the end. I've never thought of myself as creative or crafty, but the library is bringing that side of me out. Before the library, the only thing I could really do was 'sew with supervision' meaning, I need my wonderfully talented mother there to fix all my mistakes and show me how to do things. Now I can take a craft tutorial and go my own way with it and troubleshoot it on my own, and that's pretty awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment